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Apparently, M. Night Shyamalan is making a movie about my life. He never asked me for the rights or anything like that, but I liked Signs and The Sixth Sense so what the hell.

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38 dead after being bitten by vampire bats

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) — At least 38 Warao Indians have died in remote villages in Venezuela, and medical experts suspect an outbreak of rabies spread by bites from vampire bats.

In related news; vampire bats are still 2 kills short of breaking Richard Soprano’s kill record on a single 4 round map.

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Aaron Carter to release a new hit single

After taking a long break from music, Aaron Carter has reemerged on the music scene with a new hit single titled, “How I almost beat Richard Soprano”

The song chronicles the day he luckily downed famous Gears of War pro Richard Soprano, just before Richard revived himself and killed young Carter using nothing but wall bounces.

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News Update: Curt Cobaine's death not suicide

A quote taken from Detective Mike Stevens sums up the breaking news:

“The death of Curt Cobaine could not have been suicide. The only one that accurate with a shotgun is Richard Soprano. No further questioning.”

Truly shocking.